We all know that I am endlessly pursuing that thing called perfection…. And my lack of patience remains evident….
I’ve been doing an extensive amount of soul searching lately, desperately trying to iron out some kinks in my life. It just hit me like a ton of bricks….. It’s so strange to me how quickly time goes by and as an adult….. Sometimes we don’t emotionally deal with things as they come along, we push them to the side because we are just too busy… Then when the pile of shit that was pushed to the side gets too big, we let it all spill out. And it stinks… Terribly. I have a lot of ironing to do…. And probably some shoveling (may need a bulldozer really).
Frustration seems to be my go to emotion lately and I can’t help but wonder what on earth to do about it. I’m overwhelmed through and through….
My brother and I finally mapped out our vacation (it’s like the worlds best road trip ever) and I really feel this vacation is going to allow me to handle all that I need to emotionally and hopefully come back to reality with a new set of eyes… I am checking out for 8 days…. Countdown is on bitches…. 13 days….
Truly’s failed me once the temperature hit tank top weather…. I went back to my Old Spice Wolfthorn until summer is over. Getting old sucks… And so does perspiration….
I’m soooooo rambling but it’s my blog and I’ll ramble if I want to.
You know that one person….. That one person you dreamed of as a child. That one person that makes you feel whole and complete. That one person that you can’t live life without….. I have this aunt and uncle that love each other with this fairy tale-like love…. The kind that make others cringe with jealousy. It’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and this love they share has been on my mind so much lately…. They are just so beautiful in every way…. I am thankful to have seen this and experienced it… I am so thankful to have seen that two people can really truly love one another so much so, they run to each other as if they were separated for years each time they reunite (even after five minutes)…. I have experienced a lot of people’s heartaches throughout the years and have had my own. It’s wonderful to see that the shit in the movies does really exist…. “Me and You on the Big Screen” kind of shit…. Just felt the need to express my gratitude for this…. I love beautiful things so much…..
I have been a very bad girl and have not been taking my vitamins and herbs for my thyroid and boy oh boy oh boy am I paying for it. My hormones are wacked right the fuck out and I have tightness in my throat (apparently my thyroid is swollen). I plan to force myself to get back on track asap… That pile of bricks threw me for a loop and I went into “I just don’t care” mode…. I need to care, it’s sort of a big deal…. So today…. I will take my stuff and be more responsible with my health.
I’m really missing my mommy lately…. And I know it’s all the hormones and crapola I’m going through…. But man, not having her really sucks sometimes. Like…. I just really need her to say her tough love verbiage and us go have a girls night….. She was just the best at me….
Holy moly schmoly this entry is pretty Debbie Downer-esk…. I guess we all have these kinds of days….
Big hugs and lots of love,